Tension

Things have been slowing down for this child. Well, modeling wise. Life wise things are non-stop. Between school, job hunting, friends, dance, guitar and what ever else I hardly find time to rest. But I have no complaints. I prefer to keep busy and honestly, I have felt very positive lately. I have really come to realize the thick skin Japan made me grow. And I like it. A lot. It may help that I'm now in Grade 12 and don't really have anyone to look up to. Who knows? Either way I like it.

I shot the Spring 2011 Tension Catalog and well, to be honest, I didn't really want to. This would be my forth time working for them and I never like the hair and make-up or the styling and really only a few times have I liked the end result too. But it's one of the only local jobs I get paid for. No, to me modeling isn't about the money but I am unemployed so if I can find random modeling jobs that pay why wouldn't I? Plus it is tear sheets. Anywho, it was a long day. I had to get up at 4:30 to catch the ferry to Vancouver, shoot over 20 different looks. It was exhausting! Then travel home and go to school the following morning.

The people I worked for are always nice, so I wouldn't say I regret doing it, but at the time I was kind of thinking man, if I was in Japan I'd be getting a lot more for this. No I'm not greedy but it's hard when you go from one extreme to another.

But it's over with, I'm now caught up again in my classes and things are going well.

I hope to keep all my posts this fairly optimistic.

'til then.

Ky.xo

Ps. The photo is from a recent shoot I did with Jonathan Bell.

“Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.”

Weekends are generally pretty boring in Tokyo now. This weekend I didn't work which was a nice but boring break. Now there will be a lot more days like this, the industry is slowing down due to the heat. Which sucks for me, I would way rather keep busy. But what can you do? 

Today I realized I am so my mothers daughter. I got up, went to starbucks nearly dying on the 15 minute walk. It really should be closer. Then I went and grabbed a few things so I could make some of my famous pancakes. It was a good taste of home. And yes, I do still have my talent. My room mates have been gone since last night, not too sure where they are. But with them being gone I thought it would be a good time to clean. I did all the dishes (which was a lot) then vimed the sink. I then cleaned the table, washed it because they never do. Then I vacuumed the whole apartment and organized my room. I felt wonderful, and realized I am a clean freak just like my mother. Not that it's a bad thing. Days like this really make me wish I was going home a week early, seeing as a lot of the time it will just be boring days like this. But hey 29 days isn't that far away, I'll be fine. 

Some of you may have seen on my facebook status "There is a large difference between wanting success and wanting fame. Just making that clear.." and my reply to some of the comments being " To me, I have had success. This was a goal of mine and I achieved it. I'm living on my own in Japan doing what I love. It is one goal I have met, and I am now planning the next. It's small steps and to me that is success. Fame is not something I am striving for. It's fulfillment and happiness." 

Well I am currently working on my next goal. First: finish High School obviously, then I plan on taking a year off and hope to travel with modeling, but I kind of plan on tackling that one a little closer to that time. But Last night I consumed it with looking at schools for post secondary (yeah.. I like research, have I mentioned that?) Anyways, My original plan was to get my fashion marketing in Vancouver then to go Toronto for journalism. But I found out I can do it all at kwantlen in Vancouver. Which is fantastic. A long time but it's still good news. Reading about it all started to scare me though. I don't know what it is but university scares the crap out of me. I can live on my own in a foreign country fine but go to school in Vancouver..nope. I'm not sure what it is, maybe fear for failure of a career I'm not too sure. I take my future very seriously. Hence why I have been planning what I want to do since like grade 7. But I have plenty of time to stress about it. Seeing as I plan on taking a year off first. So we will see what happens. 

Sometimes I think way too much. 

Ky.xo