In the Daylight..

Things will come and go and we have to be thankful for them. They might not turn out the way you planned, or go as hoped. But that's no reason to let it go.

I have my eyes set, I just have to work on getting there.

Photo by Jennifer Dickinson.

Fingers Crossed during restless nights.

Well... The moment has passed.

Yes I had my meeting with Woman's Management. To be honest it couldn't have gone better. Much more then I expected. So if nothing comes of this I have no regrets which is a good thing, because I know there was nothing else I could have done. But I also have a lot of faith in myself and believe that they will get back to me.

See there's a difference between being conceited and confident. I worked hard, I trained, ate well, got my book together. All as preparation for this meeting.

I have a right to be confident.

Of course I have my doubts. But if it's not meant to happen now... it will later.

I'd just much rather have now.

I'm only Human. That's just the way we are.

Ky.xo

Moment.

One moment could change everything.

It could instantly,

Or it could down the line.

I try and keep that in mind. That even though results may not be instant, they may pop back up and surprise you.

My plan was to get into my best shape possible, have my best book possible and get my agent to send my things to an agency that had previously been interested in me.

They beat me to the punch.

Now my moment is a week away.

I'm trying not to have much expectations. Letting what happens happen. But I'm also going in with a confident mind set.

As long as I allow myself to be open to it and put myself there, what's meant to happen will.

Some of my friends don't understand the impact this could have, but I'm using that as motivation. I'm using any person who made fun of me, doubted me or even laughed at me, as my fuel.

I have fire behind me, that's what will get me there.

Here's to a leap of faith & good things to come.

Ky.xo

Favorite thing #35: Smell after it rains.

The best things in life are the unexpected. The last minute leap off the bridge, clasping the rock, climbing up, for the best view of your life.

We must not fear the jump, but go with open arms.

I swear the view is worth it.

I can't get it off my mind.

Olympus.

If Any of you really follow my blog you may remember my post about my Olympus shoot in Okinawa. If not feel free to check it out, it's down there somewhere.

Anywho I remembered they said the photos would be released in October so I decided to do some good ol' google snooping. And after three days of search, I hit the Jackpot. I found a lot of the photos along with a video that was made about the shoot. Which by the way I had no idea was being filmed. I saw the guy on the side with a camera but I thought he was taking photos too. Who knew? Needless to say I was very excited to find all of these things. You could say there was a bit of a happy dance...

Looking at them made me miss Japan a lot and the wonderful experiences I had. The video brought me back to the wonderful memories. It was like I was right back in the water, swimming around during the shots because I was so happy to finally be swimming again. It was very odd not spending the summer at the beach in Canada like I usually do. But I wouldn't change one thing that happened this summer. I have grown and learnt a lot about myself. The video will something that will always be very special to me. So I thought I would share these wonderful memories with whom ever may fall upon this little blog of mine. Enjoy!

Ky.xo

The Plan

A Plan.

I have always been a planner. I over analyze everything. Research things to the bitter end. The one thing that seems to be ever changing is my plan after High School. At first my dream was broadcast journalism. Which would still be amazing, but it's not my passion. I have always said I want a job that I get excited to wake up for. Which is why I look so deeply into these things.

Thanks to modeling I have fallen head over heels with fashion. I spend hours looking up designs and editorials. As much as I still have a lot to learn I feel as though it's something I understand and am willing to learn about.

That was change one.

But of course my true desire is in modeling.

I can not explain my love for it. And I plan to drag it out to the bitter end (which hopefully there is none)

But I have always said I will have a back up plan. Get a degree at least, so that I have something to stand on.

While in Japan I decided if modeling is my thing, I may as well take a year off and do it while I can.

That was change 2

And probably one of the best ones, I'm very glad I decided to. So I was going to travel as much as I could with modeling.

Alright that sounds good.

But now, while I'm in my final year of high school I've been wanting a car. Obviously the normal adolescent wanting freedom. First I need a job ...I'm working on it. But today it hit me.

I will never save a penny if I do that. First I'll have to pay off the car to my mom who would loan me the money, then insurance, then gas, then repairs. It will never end.

I realized today that I don't want to sit in Duncan waiting to travel. I now plan to move to Vancouver mid-summer.

If I were to get a car, I could never save in order to move to Vancouver.

There's no way.

So I have decided, no car for Kyla.

We have two, only one on the road right now but the second will be in February so I can drive it when ever, for now my friends can deal with me bumming rides. (Love you guys) And I am starting a "moving to van" fund, once I pay off my trip to Greece this spring break.

I couldn't be happier with my decision, discoveries and my over all plan.

Change is good, be open to it.

Ky.xo

ps. Once again image taken by Jonathan Bell.

Tension

Things have been slowing down for this child. Well, modeling wise. Life wise things are non-stop. Between school, job hunting, friends, dance, guitar and what ever else I hardly find time to rest. But I have no complaints. I prefer to keep busy and honestly, I have felt very positive lately. I have really come to realize the thick skin Japan made me grow. And I like it. A lot. It may help that I'm now in Grade 12 and don't really have anyone to look up to. Who knows? Either way I like it.

I shot the Spring 2011 Tension Catalog and well, to be honest, I didn't really want to. This would be my forth time working for them and I never like the hair and make-up or the styling and really only a few times have I liked the end result too. But it's one of the only local jobs I get paid for. No, to me modeling isn't about the money but I am unemployed so if I can find random modeling jobs that pay why wouldn't I? Plus it is tear sheets. Anywho, it was a long day. I had to get up at 4:30 to catch the ferry to Vancouver, shoot over 20 different looks. It was exhausting! Then travel home and go to school the following morning.

The people I worked for are always nice, so I wouldn't say I regret doing it, but at the time I was kind of thinking man, if I was in Japan I'd be getting a lot more for this. No I'm not greedy but it's hard when you go from one extreme to another.

But it's over with, I'm now caught up again in my classes and things are going well.

I hope to keep all my posts this fairly optimistic.

'til then.

Ky.xo

Ps. The photo is from a recent shoot I did with Jonathan Bell.

Curiosity Killed The Cat

Sometimes, no matter how much we say we wont do something, we do.

Sometimes, no matter how much stronger we think we are, were not.

Sometimes, no matter what you do to stop yourself, your still running.

Some things I will never understand. I will never know what happened, nor do I want to. I will never understand why things are the way they are. But like a fresh cut diamond gleaming in the sun, I can't help but stare with curiosity wondering how it got to be that way.

It's baffling, intriguing and yet blinding at the same time.

Diamonds are sharp.

Don't let them cut you.

Ky.xo

Right on target.

Judgement.

It is what makes this small town spin around. Due to it's lack of area, this place lives off whispered word. Everyone hears everything. Nothing is a secret. Not matter how hard you try and seal your lips it will always get out... and nothing like how intended.

It also causes people to have closed minds to new things. Putting a label on something before even seeing what it does.

The fact that there are a few of us who have open minds to things, we seem to be the bulls eye of the target.

Hit me with your best shot.

You wont close this door.

Ky.xo

Home is where the heart is.

I know I know. *Hit's self on head*. It has been a while since I posted after returning home, but I have been going non-stop.

So I got everyone pretty good. I even kept it up on my blogs saying "10 days!" when really it was only 6. It was very difficult to hide from everyone but it paid off in unimaginable ways. I'm very happy I did it. Even if it did mean lying to those I love. And believe me, your faces made up for it

The last day was bittersweet. And although it's been over a week I still remember waking up that morning and thinking "This is the last time I'm doing this? I don't even remember what my routine was at home"

It was a very long day of traveling and I kept confusing myself with figuring out time. I would say, "What time it is at home?" when I was in the Narita Airport and then when I was in Vancouver I would look at "what time it is at home" (as in Japan) and I was like wait... I'm calling both home. Which is home!?

Luckily my jetlag wasn't too bad and I pulled through and was able to make "Home Time" Duncan time.

Being home has been wonderful I missed it more then I could have imagined. Being with friends and family again felt amazing. I'm glad to be back. Even though I know in a few weeks I'll be begging to be sent off again.

It's good to know I can be on my own. That I lived and had a successful trip. It's helped me set goals for myself and plan out the next few years. And all I can say is I have a lot to look forward to.

Tokyo will forever hold a very very special place in my heart. And I would love to go back some day. Just maybe...not with Russians.

And now that things have slowed down I will write more again, so be sure to look for updates.

Until then,

Ky.xo

Law of attraction.

Some days you wake up starring straight into the eyes of misfortune. It smiles and says "Good morning" in it's sly mischievous tone. And for the rest of the day it follows you. Frolicking around laughing as it simply stands in your way of everything. You try to reason with it, plead even. But it just continues to walk in your shadows.

The other night Jacob and I were talking about The Secret, a book about the law of attraction. This, and only this is the way to send misfortune on the next ship to Costa Rica.

I woke up this morning with my neck killing due to the cot I currently sleep on. Only to burn myself when pouring my hot water and lemon. Then tripping over the cords that run straight across my room for the internet.

Ok not a good start but I thought give it a bit of time.

Then I had a conversation with my mother that I couldn't exactly say shifted my mood in any way. Just not the morning for it. Causing me to billow in frustration.

Of course while getting ready I poked my eyes with mascara and my hair didn't want to cooperate.

I stepped outside to another 37 degree day. Fueling more anger towards my sweat.

After a meeting with my agent I headed to Zara's just to waste time. I didn't buy anything mainly looked around wishing the sale was still on so I could afford anything. After about an hour I decided to head back. Only to have my eyes caught by a starbucks. I thought ok, I so deserve this.

So I got a nice cold carmel frapp and a wrap. While walking to the only open seat I nicked the corner of my tray on the pony wall sending my frapp flying.

Awesome.

Hadn't even opened the straw yet.

The girls who's feet were currently covered the ice cold drink were nice enough to grab a worker to mop it up. My 10 napkins didn't really cut it.

And thankfully the workers were kind enough to even bring me a new drink right away. You always kind of hope they would but you never know if they will. Right then I though ok, this attitude needs to change. I'm a magnet for misery right now.

And when I finally got back to the apartment I just started laughing. If I keep saying "This is the worst day, I'm having such a bad day" I'm just going to attract more bad things. So I decided no, I am going to say "I'm going to have a better day, good things can still happen"

And as much as I haven't won the lottery or landed a burberry campaign, nothing bad has happened since. I have successfully walked across my room without tripping, Made dinner without burning myself and I even found one last cookie in the box that I thought I had finished.

And that right there is good enough for me.

So long misfortune, I hope you enjoy Costa Rica.

Ky.xo

A dose of laughter.

I don't think I was lacking in nutrients yesterday when I was feeling really low. I think I was lacking in love. Back home I see friends and family everyday who care about me. Even if they don't say it, they show it by being involved in my life. Whether is having breakfast or texting. I have not had something like that in a long time. Other then my regular skype sessions with my mom.

I have no one to have a normal english speaking conversation with here. No one checking up on me. No one hugging me. And I'm a hugging kind of person, not having a few of those a week isn't easy.

I think the scariest part of it all to me is if something were to happen to me, it could be an entire day before anyone even thought to say something. My agent only calls every few days now and I never see my room mates anymore.

I think loneliness got the best of me.

But today I got exactly what I needed. Thankfully Jacob had nothing better to do with his Monday night so we decided to Skype. We started at about 11 AM (tokyo time) and finally decided he should get some sleep at 5:30 PM (tokyo time) Finally talking and having a normal conversation with someone was so refreshing. And not only that, but laughing. I hadn't laughed a good hard tears-in-your-eyes laugh in a long time. And I didn't realize it until I was. It just kind of hit me like god, I miss this! Not only that, I got to share my opinions and random thoughts. Usually when I talk to my mom or my friends it's just updates. Not just regular conversation. Jacob and I seem to have this way of covering almost every topic. In Chemistry we decided we should have our own talk show. Cause man the things we rant about. But it was wonderful to be able to. Like I said, it had been much too long.

It would be completely different if I had room mates I was friends with like I said. Some form of company. But I wasn't graced with that this time around.

Not being able to really laugh for two months is like someone cutting protein out of your diet.

It's not easy.

I love what I'm doing, I wouldn't change a second of it. But it really has shown me some of the important things we don't think about day to day. And I know hopefully next time I travel I will have some better room mates.

Who by the way finally got my hint from the other night and actually cleaned today. It's the first time I've seen them do so since being here... Better late then never I guess.

Ky.xo

Hang me up to dry, you've rung me out too many times.

Today was.. odd. I think this whole thing has finally caught up with me. I felt completely drained all day. Maybe it's because I'm bored out of my mind. Not too sure. I've had the last few days off and to be honest I'm not sure if I'll work much more before I go. Granted that's not such a bad thing, I have worked so much already but with me leaving soon and the market being down it's actually a really good time to be leaving.

I decided to actually do something today so I headed to Shibuya, a very busy district in Tokyo with a great mall. But as soon as I got there I just wasn't into it. The loud music and overwhelming stores. I felt like someone pulled the plug on me and sucked all the energy out. And I had just ate so I knew it wasn't lack of nutrition. After about an hour or so I headed back and grabbed some dinner. And even while I was sitting eating I just wanted to crawl into bed. It's not often I get like that.

I basically haven't left my bed since. And I know I'm not sick I feel fine. It's just my energy level is completely shot. It's probably a really good thing I'm not working, I don't think I could have made it.

I'm thinking a lot of it has to do with stress. Thinking about going home, the 10 hour flight, packing, school starting, drama with grad t-shirts, class lists, getting a job once I'm home, Milan, figuring out what's next. I over analyze everything, so when there is a lot to look at, It's exhausting.

I just need to let things happen how they will. It's just there's so many loose ends it's hard to stand here and not try and tie a knot. Instead I am just tangling myself up.

Hopefully tomorrow there will be more answers and my head will be at rest.

Ky.xo

Innocence was the key, I was locked up never free; until you turned me.

Things have been winding down here in Japan. Seeing as I'm leaving soon I no longer have castings and there aren't as many jobs because a lot of people have left Tokyo due to the unreal heat.

A part of me is really sad knowing this whole thing will be over. When I think back to June and how much anticipation I had about this trip and now, knowing it is over is kind of upsetting. But at the same time I feel like I have been very successful and couldn't have asked for more.

So I guess it's fitted that my time here is almost done. I'm kind of at a point where I just want this last bit to fly by. If I'm not working it's quite boring and it causes me to wish I was at home with everyone more. But in order for it to go by fast I would need to be working. It's kind of a weird situation. Not working makes going home more exciting but working will make it come faster..

Either way the clock is counting down.

I just keep trying to think now that this experience is over I'm ready to tackle the next. I look forward for what's to come. I have a very bright outlook as to what path I hope to take. This trip has not only taught me a lot about myself it really helped me figure what I want to do after High School. I spent nights before this trip looking into schools figuring out a career. This trip has shown me more then all those nights of research put together.

Basically right now I feel that school will always be there. My dream will not. It's time to run for it while I can. Plus it's becoming more common to go to school when your a bit older. Once your more sure of what you want to do. So many people just go to school because they think that's what they have to do. Personally I feel a lot of it is wasted money. I know I will go to university some day. But until I'm absolutely sure what I want to do. There is no point. I have a good idea but things always change.

I also got a good chuckle today. A girl I barely know who's a few years younger started asking be about my trip on facebook, she then says "so are you famous?" I couldn't help but laugh. I just said "noo not even close." then she replies "Oh I heard you have your own TV show."

...

I love rumors. I cried laughing, it was so cute and ridiculous at the same time. I just said "No I work at the shop channel but it's far from 'my show' I just model the products."

Ahh anyway I just had to share that it really made my night. But hey who knows, maybe one day right?

When one door closes, another door opens.

Ky.xo

Trophy Wife.

I am currently sitting here completely exhausted thinking over the past two days. It's hard to believe all the work we did was only in two days. Felt like a week worth. But It was so worth it.

Turns out it was filming a DVD for the Mazda 5. Our description?: A successful stylish family with a trophy wife and a daughter that gives no troubles. All American family Japanese style. Hence why I am 17 and my husband was 30... this is completely normal for Japan... hm.. but hey it got me the job.

Turns out my husband was Eric, whom Laura had told me about. He was with coultish a long time ago and then moved to Japan. And he is kind of the reason I'm there, for he helped Atsushi with scouting and introduced him to Coultish. It was nice talking to another Canadian for a few days.

My daughter was a 2 year old named Miyuki said (Me-You-Key, pretty darn cute if you ask me..). I think she might be half Japanese though she doesn't look it much, her mother was on set too who was caucasian. It was odd though because both only spoke Japanese. It was interesting and often a challenge. At first Miyuki was very difficult which makes total sense. I wouldn't want to sit between these two strangers either if I was her. So the first day it took a lot of tricking her into the shots. Having her mom sit there with her then get up and I would sneek in behind. Then she would burst into tears and run to her mom. It took much longer then needed but she was so adorable, who dare get frustrated? It was a very long day on set so when I got to the hotel I crashed.

The next day was a 5 Am wake-up call. Yipee. We went to a cafe and did a few shots there with just me and Miyuki. At this point she had started to warm up to me and we got all the shots pretty easily. We then moved to a hotel and did shots of me getting in the car, shifting, steering. Etc. Then we did a few more family shots with the car. Miyuki was still kind of scared of Eric which I understood, he is very intimidating. But she started to love me. When I had to do a take of carrying her to the car she hopped right into my arms. Everyone on set was so excited/relieved to not have her burst out crying and run to her mom. By the end of the two days, I really felt like she was my daughter. (weird I know) But when you spend that much time pretending it almost becomes real. Plus she was so freaking cute, I couldn't help but fall in love. And when it came time to say good-bye. She started bawling her eyes out. It was totally heartbreaking.

I will most likely never see you again but I hope the best for you Miyuki. One day you will look back at this DVD and laugh hearing about the stories like how we used a lazar pointer on the wall to trick you into letting Eric pick you up. Or how in half the shots your mom is hiding in the car so you will run inside.

I really forgot how much I love doing film. It's long. exhausting and repeatitive. But thrilling at the same time.

Either way it was a wonderful two days of work that I'm really happy I got to be involved in. I can't wait to get a hold of the DVD to show everyone.

Until next time,

Ky.xo

These things take time love, these things take backbone.

Inspiration. It is all around me here in Tokyo. Whether it be buildings, fashion, models, shoots. Anything. Tokyo has shown me my true desire for this industry. I literally burn for it. I always enjoyed things like dance, skating, music. And I was always happy while doing all those things. But not like this. The energy and fire I feel when I'm working is one people would spend their whole lives searching for. And at 17 I have found it. I have found my passion. I have found the industry I plan on devoting my life to.

It is humbling to know I can stop looking and start working.

In a way I don't care what side of it I'm on. Camera, casting, scouting, designing, modeling. I just love it. Although my ultimate goal would be modeling. Simply because that's where the fire burns brightest.

Not only that but this industry accepts me. I'm very pale and I can't tan to save my life. Literally I got back from Mexico and people asked if I even left... But they love pale models. Tans are a big no no. Big plus for me.

It likes that I'm skinny. In middle school I was constantly beat on being called anorexic in the halls. I remember coming home bawling my eyes out asking my parents why I don't have thighs like the other girls. I remember looking in the mirror wondering why my legs don't fill out my skirt like everyone else. Wishing that they would. Modeling has taught me to love my body and be proud of the fact I am small and embrace it.

They like girls with natural hair. Now a'days it's hard to find a girl who hasn't coloured her hair. It's just what we do. But for some reason I never felt I should. And they love it. No roots, not dead. It's wonderful. I'm proud to be able to say this is my natural hair. And even though colouring it is so tempting at times. I just try and remind myself of these things.

In a way it's ironic how the modeling world likes what society often doesn't and yet people still swoon for it.

And in a way these things just reassure me even more that this is where I am meant to be.

Now don't get me wrong, there are still many things I wish I could change about myself. There are still many days where I think "God I would look so much better with a tan". But why live your life constantly picking yourself apart? Why hate your body? It's the only one your going to get and hating it isn't going to magically change it. So why not learn to embrace it and love your flaws.

It's a slow process but that's what I'm learning to do. And I encourage others to do so as well.

Here's to learning to love yourself,

Ky.xo

Okinawa

4:30 AM. At this time Friday I was up and getting ready to head out to Okinawa. I decided to go with no expectations. They are always wrong. For once I was just going to let it all hit me. During the metro ride there, my agent was talking to me about what my trip might kind of look like. Then he says "Okinawa is tropical, not like Tokyo. You be very careful, many dangerous animals. Don't go in water without shoes and stuff. Things there can and will hurt you." K, buddy, you don't tell this to miss. paranoia. Okay? So now I'm freaking out. Panicking like mad. Just thinking of the things lurking in the waters and forests.

We arrived at the airport and I was quickly assured that my safety was of utmost importance. And this point, I could finally breathe again.

Turns out the day I went to Okinawa was the anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing. Kind of insane to think about. The airport was super busy with tons of people heading to Hiroshima to go to the temples there and pay respect. In a way, I wish I had been one, would have been something to see.

So we get to Okinawa and off we go to shoot almost immediately. Turns out I am the first person, ever to have been shot with this new Olympus camera. Which isn't for sale until October. Which is incredibly flattering. Ken, the only one who could speak english then came up to me and said "We are all very thankful for you being in Japan, we are working because of you. So thank-you. " It was very sweet, I was going to say well I wouldn't have a job unless you hired me so thanks! But his english isn't the best so I just thanked him back.

So we were shooting on a beautiful private beach, In the water, on the sand. For the first time ever I actually felt like a real working model. It was a weird feeling. It felt like this was the kind of shoot you see on TV or people expect, just it's not edited so It's waaaay longer. But I loved every moment. Usually I get really tired and over worked during a shoot, and maybe it was the settings, but I could have gone on forever.

And no worries, there was no creeping things in the water.

At least...there.

The next day we started off with a shoot at a water fall. It was so stunning. I once again had my feet in the water but just my luck I had crayfish walking all over my feet.. Not fun. But for some reason during a shoot I am able to suck it up and deal with it.

Okinawa weather is baazar. It would be killer hot, then just down poor, and when I say down poor I mean you can't see because it's raining so hard. (see video) so sometimes we would shoot, feel the rain, sit for 5 minutes with umbrellas until it passed, then go again.

For lunch they took me to a famous Okinawa noodle house... soooo good.

We then went to the famous Elephant point (rocks look like an elephant) to do more shooting. It was stunning, we then climbed up for the last shots on the top of the cliff. Turns out 3 people have died there while doing a photoshoot. I'm proud to say I shot there, and I lived.

So the shoot was over and we were heading back to the hotel.

But we must remember this rule, no shoot is ever over.

We pulled over to the side of the road and I quickly changed and we shot with the sunset. I thought okay Kyla last chance to whip it out. Result? They were jumping up and down they were so excited with the photos. It felt good, especially because the photographer is apparently a big name in the industry. I was proud to say the least.

So with it finally being over we went for dinner. This time for some Shabu Shabu. Which is raw pork you then boil in water with garlic and other things until it turns white, then dip in your soup and eat.. and you know what, it's pretty good. A little too fatty for my liking but it wasn't bad.

The next day we had lots of time to waste so me and Fumoshi went for a walk on the beach. The way the rocks are and everything was totally stunning. After about an hour we decided to head back due to the fact we couldn't stand the heat any longer. And just like the lovely Okinawa weather would. It started to poor. But I loved it. We were running back and the warm water was pounding on my skin. I almost didn't want to go inside. It was such a rush. I wish rain back home was like that.

We then all hopped in the van and went to check out the market. I got to try local mango (seriously the best thing I have ever had....ever!) Sea grape, a form of seaweed which is actually really good. Tons of sweets, local donuts etc. There are samples of everything! Things I didn't try: pig feet, pig ear, massive lobster, bright blue fish etc. I can only take so much. But then I did get to have some Blue Seal, famous local ice cream. Tiramisu flavored as well, can't get any better then that!

Over all it was an amazing experience. I'm so glad I got to go to a place like that and have that opportunity. I mean going to a tropical island, shooting, site seeing and trying new things all while being paid...Absolutely no complaints there. I am so thankful of this whole trip. Not many can say they have done what I have this summer. I'm very proud and thankful.

But now it's back to reality in Tokyo. And as I say that, I can also say only 16 days left...

Where did 2 months go?!

ps. In the video, it's not cloudy out at all, it's all rain...

Ky.xo

Lost in translation

I have learned to love this life in Tokyo. Walking into the apartment feels like home. Seeing the lights and the streets of the city no longer feels this amazing foreign place, it all seems normal now. My bedroom back home seems to far away. It's odd to think about... It's a very surreal feeling.

Today I had what I thought was a diet pill ad but it turns out it was not. The company makes health products, sometimes the japanese translate wrong so diet products really mean health. And it wasn't a pill. Everyone here wears knee high socks with dresses and skirts, but these ones also help with circulation. So a lot of the shots are like what you see on the front of legging boxes, the nicely posed legs. And then we did a bit of a shoot outside. It was the fastest most laid back shoot I'd ever done.

It was wonderful.

Normally you are waiting around for ever; hair, make-up, lighting, poses, more lighting etc. If you don't have patience you would kill yourself. So this was a lovely change.

Once we were finished they took me out for lunch which was very nice, once again I loved the people I was working for. Aaaand once again bad translations.

They took me to a place called Bim Bum Bam. (hm..?) turns out it was a lovely pasta place. When I got my spaghetti one of the guys goes. "You are so hot." I just kind of looked at him. Then he said "Your hot, spicy." And pointed to my dish. Then I realized he was telling me it was hot. Rule number 1: Never assume what they say to you the first time is what they mean. Because it's often not. For dessert we ordered Tiramisu, aka: Kyla's favorite. But they were all out. Biggest let down ever. But we still got a delicious slice of chocolate cake, so I was happy.

Afterwards I went back to the apartment only to be whisked off again to a casting. But it was only one so it was painless.

Tomorrow on the other hand is another story. 4:30 wake up time? woo hoo! But it will be worth it because then I am off to the beautiful island of Okinawa. I'm so excited to get away for a bit and see another part of Japan. That being said I wont be able to post anything until I return on Sunday. But I promise to give every detail asap.

Yes this life in Tokyo is a good one. I'm not sure if I'm going to want to break out of this routine when I come home.

It's hard work and often exhausting but it pays off in unimaginable ways.

Which by the way I have more good news! I booked a job with Mazda! It's a three day shoot and I'm a mother. Yup, me my husband and daughter posing in an ad for Mazda. But who knows really, like I said translations aren't always correct so we will have to wait and see what really happens. Either way I'm thrilled.

ps. I'm expecting lots of messages of updates from people when I return(ahem yes that's you reading this right now, I'm sure you can spare 5 minutes to send me a message. It's a two my street, you hear about my life, I want to hear about yours too!)

Thanks, and much love,

Ky.xo

Head over heels.

Falling down is inevitable. Things are going to happen to us we don't like no matter what we do,who we are, where we go. Things that often help define us in ways we don't see until farther down the line. And what once seemed like the worst moment of you life, has become the best thing that happened to you.

Japan has helped me see myself in a new light. I have more respect and honor for myself. I care about what I eat more. And not because of weight but because I care what goes into my body, it works hard for me and I should do my part to honor that. I also find myself more prone for exercise, going for runs most nights.

Now I know, some of you may double check and make sure your reading my blog. Kyla running? No.

What has Japan done to her? Tea, now running? Who is she?

I can assure you I have not changed. I still hate tea, just not green tea. And running just really helps me clear my head, get all the junk out so I can just relax and night. It's been good.

It's also given me more determination then I thought possible. My goals have doubled and I am now running in a path I can see myself following.

Keeping your head up is the best way to keep from falling down.

One more day until Okinawa. I think it's exactly what I need.

Ky.xo

Milestones.

"As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened and we can't."

"Follow your heart"

In the last post I mentioned how my Friday wasn't a good day. The main reason being as I was walking to my casting I noticed my necklace and come undone. I quickly grabbed it only to realize the charm was gone. I was devastated. I am a very sentimental person and that necklace meant a lot to me. My mother had given it to me before she left, it had two circles joined and then a little heart symbolizing our lives together and that she was leaving her heart here with me. You can see it in a lot of my pictures. Anytime I felt out of place or upset I just kind of held onto it and felt at peace again. It was my good luck charm. And it was gone.

I had the day off and I was contemplating what to do. I had wanted to go check out some shopping in Harajuku again but I really wasn't feeling up to it. Just kind of a lazy day. Then I thought, why? Why sit here and do nothing when your in this amazing city? Stop being such a downer. So I grabbed some food and off I went. I went into a bunch of boutiques, topshop, h&m etc all the while wanting desperately to blow more money then I had. I managed to keep contain myself though. As I was walking through top shop I was looking at the accessories. I went to move one and something fell. I picked it up and it was a necklace with a thin gold chain and a heart with a compass in the middle. I immediately went to the counter and bought it.

I decided that yes. It is a shame that my other necklace broke. But maybe it's a sign. My mothers heart will always be with me. But she has raised me and taught me well and it is time to stand on my own, and follow my own heart. It's my turn to take action for myself.

There's no better surprise, then surprising yourself.

Ky.xo

Matcha, Matcha, Matcha.

Matcha green tea. My newest addiction. Or plain green tea, although I prefer Matcha. You see when ever you go to castings or a job they just hand it to you. I don't want to be rude so I just drink it and now after forced back glasses of it for a month..I love it. Granted I prefer it hot rather then cold. Which in most cases cold is how they give it to you but I will admit I am a fan. Usually I hate tea, I would beak my friends when drinking it because I can't stand the smell, it's much too sweet for me. But green tea isn't, and it's actually really good for you. So I'm thinking this new habit is something I may keep. 

Plus a cup of the green seems to make a day go well.

See, Yesterday. Not so good. Ipod broke, necklace from my mom broke. I wasn't happy. Nope, not at all. But my days here are finger prints, no two are the same.

So as I was walking to the shop channel this morning and I noticed I was much too early (typical). Luckily there's a starbucks right there. So instead of my usual million calorie frapp, I opted for some tea. Just before leaving I saw one of the guys from the shop channel who did my hair one time. They have a ton of people who work there so you rarely get the same people twice. But I remembered him because he was so nice. We smiled and I left heading over to the set. 

When you get there you have to sign in, so I did as usual and the guard just handed me a candy. Now I know, whoopdy doo. But they never do that and it made me smile. I throughly enjoy small gestures. Continuing on, I stepped on the elevator and hit my floor. As the doors were closing I saw "Happy starbucks guy" (no name) walking up so I quickly hit the doors open button just in time (seriously it was close) He was so thrilled! It was actually kind of cute how happy and thankful he was that I hit a button. I felt good, I had my tea, a candy and some good karma. 

Time on set flew by, it really is a good way to make a day go fast. Evil lady who commented about my arms was back but she barely said two words to me. And I didn't bother trying to invoke any conversation for the only times we did talk she totally pissed me off. I didn't want her bringing my good day down and luckily I got out without her ruining it.

I then ran off to my casting which was quick and easy and headed home. 

In a way I don't even care if Green tea is good for you, although it's a major plus. And maybe it being so good for you is why, but I have felt amazing all day. Just kind of this warmth has been lingering deep in my chest. I enjoy it. 

Green is good.

Ky.xo

You have a lovely way with words, must be the way you see the world.

Today we were given a break from the unmanageable heat here in Tokyo. Granted I wouldn't usually choose rain over sun but it sure was nice to step outside and not feel the urge to run back inside and sit with my A/C dreading the sweat that had already appeared on my skin. Although I did not know it was raining when I left the apartment so I stepped out side in my jean shorts and a t-shirt ready to fight the heat. It was quite a shock when I saw the rain pouring down. I didn't have time to change so I ran inside and grabbed my umbrella and had to leave. 

Luckily it is very obvious I am a foreigner so I can pull off wearing shorts in the rain without looking too stupid. I mean all I have to say is I'm from Canada and people understand. We live in igloos remember...

The shop channel finally called back after about a week so I went there to work again. I can't say I was excited but I was happy to be working and not going for castings. But when I got there I was quickly humbled by the hair and make-up people and the bright lights of the set. Kyla and the Japanese really do get along. Even if all we do is smile and nod for some reason they make me really happy. Well the people I work with anyway. The people on the streets try not to look at you and keep the themselves. As unwelcoming as it is, it's probably a good thing. 

My three hours there flew by and before I knew it I was back out in the rain finding my way home. For some strange reason today felt incredibly short. Maybe because I was finally doing something again, I'm not sure. But as I sit in bed writing this I feel like last night was a few hours ago. 

With that being said I don't think my sleeping patterns ever really adjusted here. Every night no matter how tired I am I toss and turn forever. Granted it takes me a very long time to get used to another bed. Doesn't matter how comfy or uncomfortable (which this one is..) a bed is, if I'm not used to it, I don't sleep. Plus 15 hour time difference doesn't help. But I always find myself still up at 2, 3 AM wondering why the heck I'm not asleep. And then my body wakes me up at 8 or 9 and wont let me go back to bed (and that's if I'm lucky). No matter how exhausted I am. It's the most frustrating thing. Luckily today my body was nice and let me sleep until 10 but still, usually if I was up until 3 you wouldn't see me until at least after noon. But I will admit I do enjoy waking up a bit earlier. By the time my room mates are up I have had breakfast, caught up with everyone, got ready and onto lunch. They really waste the day. I can't imagine how short their days feel! 

Well here I go to tackle myself to sleep again. Hopefully with more success...

Ky.xo

Domo Arigato Mr.Roboto

Prior to coming to Japan I had quite a few expectations. 

1) sick cars

2) Drifting (kind of a joke)

3)amazing cell phones/electronics

4) Crazy vending machine

All of which were wrong.

First off. No drifting,I can't even count how many people said I would see that because of the Fast and the Furious movie Tokyo Drift. So I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but it doesn't happen. BUT, I will admit if people were to drift it would be very easy. Why? The road system. I didn't think there was any other way of making intersections and roads but there is. And it's stupid. All the roads curve, half them you can barely fit two cars down but they do (apparently no one is really too concerned about their mirrors..) I wish I could explain it better but you really have to see it. Sometimes you sit in the middle of intersections while others just go around you. Lights are a solid 5 minutes long. Anyone driving from Canada would have a fit. Oh and when crossing the blind have to hit a button so it will make a noise for them, my question is, how do they know if there is a button? 

With that being said everywhere you go there is a yellow strip in the middle of the sidewalk or in the metro stations with either bumpy lines, circles or rectangles. They are incredibly annoying to walk on until I realized they are paths for the blind. (I was very excited when I figured this out) the circles means either stairs or edge of a platform etc. The lines just mean keep going and the rectangles are kind of a warning for the circles. It's amazing and so accessible. I was very impressed, even if it is annoying to walk on.

Ok now cars. You know those Cube cars your starting to see back home that look like they should be little catering vans. Well that is what about 85% of people drive here. Little boxes. They love them! Every car company has them and it's all you see. Everywhere. And if not those then obviously it's amazingly expensive cars that blow your mind. But those really aren't that often. Which is upsetting.

 

Cell phones. I was expecting top of the line, 5 years ahead of us, amazing cell phones.

No

Everyone has a flip phone. A thin, wide flip phone. That's it. Well either that or an Iphone, they love Iphones. But with that being said they are still pretty cool. You know the BBM codes people use to add each other as contacts. Well those weird box pictures are everywhere. And all phones can scan them. What for?

Information. On all billboards or ads you see, restaurants anything has a code that you can scan to read or see about it. It's amazing. Apparently soon you are going to be able to pay for things by just scanning that code. As for black berry. Yeah they hate it. You see ads for it and such but I haven't seen one person use one. It's flip phone or Iphone. Or both, a lot of people have like 3 cell phones for no good reason. 

Vending Machines. Well they are everywhere. But I had heard there are ones with school girls panties, and even lawn mowers. Well I don't know where those people were but I have seen nothing like that. Majority are just drinks or cigarettes there are at least 4 of each on every block. But I have seen an umbrella one (very smart) and a make-up one which was neat. But that's really the extent of it. I'm kind of disappointed I was looking forward to seeing how many random ones I could find. Maybe that fad ended a few years ago I'm not too sure.

So what is the conclusion? No Japan isn't as far ahead as I was expecting, and it may not look as crazy as I thought but the difference is still pretty sweet.

And either way I still love Japan.

Ky.xo

“Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.”

Weekends are generally pretty boring in Tokyo now. This weekend I didn't work which was a nice but boring break. Now there will be a lot more days like this, the industry is slowing down due to the heat. Which sucks for me, I would way rather keep busy. But what can you do? 

Today I realized I am so my mothers daughter. I got up, went to starbucks nearly dying on the 15 minute walk. It really should be closer. Then I went and grabbed a few things so I could make some of my famous pancakes. It was a good taste of home. And yes, I do still have my talent. My room mates have been gone since last night, not too sure where they are. But with them being gone I thought it would be a good time to clean. I did all the dishes (which was a lot) then vimed the sink. I then cleaned the table, washed it because they never do. Then I vacuumed the whole apartment and organized my room. I felt wonderful, and realized I am a clean freak just like my mother. Not that it's a bad thing. Days like this really make me wish I was going home a week early, seeing as a lot of the time it will just be boring days like this. But hey 29 days isn't that far away, I'll be fine. 

Some of you may have seen on my facebook status "There is a large difference between wanting success and wanting fame. Just making that clear.." and my reply to some of the comments being " To me, I have had success. This was a goal of mine and I achieved it. I'm living on my own in Japan doing what I love. It is one goal I have met, and I am now planning the next. It's small steps and to me that is success. Fame is not something I am striving for. It's fulfillment and happiness." 

Well I am currently working on my next goal. First: finish High School obviously, then I plan on taking a year off and hope to travel with modeling, but I kind of plan on tackling that one a little closer to that time. But Last night I consumed it with looking at schools for post secondary (yeah.. I like research, have I mentioned that?) Anyways, My original plan was to get my fashion marketing in Vancouver then to go Toronto for journalism. But I found out I can do it all at kwantlen in Vancouver. Which is fantastic. A long time but it's still good news. Reading about it all started to scare me though. I don't know what it is but university scares the crap out of me. I can live on my own in a foreign country fine but go to school in Vancouver..nope. I'm not sure what it is, maybe fear for failure of a career I'm not too sure. I take my future very seriously. Hence why I have been planning what I want to do since like grade 7. But I have plenty of time to stress about it. Seeing as I plan on taking a year off first. So we will see what happens. 

Sometimes I think way too much. 

Ky.xo 

It's like a heat wave burning in my heart.

Today I worked for Alfa Romeo in the Concurs D'elegance Car show. We got to unveil the brand new "Guliette" that actually isn't released until next year. Sounds like a fun day right? No. Today was literally the hottest day I have ever endured in my life. Now, I know we say this a lot. Like how every time we get sick we always say "I have never felt this sick" but really it's just you feeling like crap in that moment. Well I'm not just saying this. It wins, by far. When ever we have jobs we are told to moisturize our skin before. BAD idea when you sweat. My body was like a slip n' slide. Because when you sweat all the cream that was sitting on your skin rises.. It doesn't feel so nice. I literally drank 4 huge things of water. If people in Tokyo do not have air conditioning I honestly think they could die. No lies. It's that bad. 

So if I hear anyone back home complaining about heat again I would love for them to come here and check this place out.

Torture.

All the Japanese actually carry around a towel to wipe themselves off with. Seriously, you see it everywhere. And that's just normal. I now understand why ever one leaves for a few weeks in the summer. It is not enjoyable at all. 

Then on the way back the metro was packed. I had been there when it's busy, but it was packed. Like peoples faces against the windows kind of thing. Which didn't help with my already sweaty situation. I literally had a girls face in my armpit. And to top it off, the japanese just sleep on the metro so I had a guy snoozing on my back. My mosquito bites on my leg? I couldn't itch them, I could hardly breath, I was lucky to have a handle to hold, not that I would have gone anywhere. 

When I came home it literally took 2 hours of sitting under my blasting air conditioning and a cold shower in order to cool me down...

Just cool me down.

I'm not over exaggerating or anything. I know I do that a lot but honestly. There is no sarcasm in my words..for once.

So, what is to learn from all this? If you ever plan on visiting Japan, DON'T go in the summer.

You can learn, I can suffer.

Ky.xo

Nice to meet you.

I believe in fate. I'm not very religious, just wasn't brought up that way. Although I find religion very interesting, I do not practice any. But I do however believe in fate. I do believe everything happens for a reason, that maybe things are already generally set out for us and as different cards are played causing different results we walk through the maze, but the path is pretty clear. Some people say that fate is just a security net for people to follow. That if there was such thing as fate why would these horrible things happen? Well, I think that people who don't believe in fate are just afraid of the fact that the choices have been made for them. But I have seen fate, it has stared me in the face and smiled. 

I know I didn't go to Korea last year because I wasn't ready. There were other things in my life that needed to be dealt with before I could handle being on my own. There were new experiences I need to endure before setting off. I needed to be stronger, to see these things and to learn. And so fate lead me to Tokyo. 

I always said I wanted to go on a trip by myself. To learn about myself and explore, see how I did. Granted I planed on it being an english speaking country where I could meet people. But fate didn't choose that for me, not yet anyway. Well I got it. And today while I was sopping in my loneliness I remembered that very plan. And said "Well, your here. This is what you wanted.. Do something!" It was like fate slapped me in the face and said "HEY! You wanted this! I'm right here!" Yes this experience would be much better with someone by my side. But I am meant to learn to stand on my own feet and have no crutches holding me up. 

And tomorrow is just another step. I am working at a big car show event for Fiat. Tons of press will be there taking pictures as we stand by the car/ sit in it. Should be a fairly fun job I'm thinking. Plus it's something keeping me busy. Which is always good.

I talked to my agent today as we went to the casting. And as I have said the date I come home is not set in stone. Nothing in this industry ever is. And next week we are discussing when the date should for sure be. I kind of have mixed feelings about it. I want to go home, have a few weeks left of summer with everyone. That urge is there. But I'm here, there is a reason. I feel like I'm meant to see other things, do other things here. BUT, it turns out the japanese chirstmas holiday is in the summer. Because it is SO hot here everyone stops working, shuts everything down and leaves the country and visits others for about a week in August. So during that time there will be no work, no castings, nothing. And because there was no castings there probably wont be much work the week after either. So my agent is saying, why waste money and time keeping us here when there wont be anything. Which makes perfect sense. So, if I were to come home a little early it would not be because I couldn't do it, or I wasn't doing well enough. Simply because the market was down. And under that condition would I only go home. I am not backing down, in fact I love it here. I want to do this, I want to work, I want to learn. As much as some days are horrible I have all year to be in Duncan, who knows when I will ever come back here. Or get a chance like this again. I need to remind myself of that. So basically, the contract will speak for it's self. How it goes is how I go. But I'm not going to say anything. I'll let fate do the talking.

Ky.xo

Fashion 4-some

I have said many a' times how I miss being able to go to the beach. And today, I got to! Granted it was a 3 hour metro ride then a 20 minute taxi and about 15 of walking but it was worth it. Sort of.

It was an interesting shoot. I kind of call is a fashion 4-some. 4 photographers shooting me at once. I had never had anything like that it was so weird. It was insanely windy so often times when I was just fixing my hair they would still take pictures. And having to rotate your eyes to all of them got exhausting(sounds stupid but it's hard ok). The waves were huge and I was leaning/sitting/standing on this huge rocks that were morphed into weird shapes making amazing backgrounds. 

But it was long. And very hot. I think I got heat stroke. And if I don't have a sun burn tomorrow, I will be shocked. Rainy season has left Tokyo and it's now a heat wave. It's insane. If it weren't for that strong wind I would have died. But it got difficult and fast. I hadn't ate much all day and tied with the beating sun, working hard and a long day I started to die out. Not only that but have any of you ever been on the Indiana Jones ride in Disneyland? And do you remember the part when the light shines and it shows spiders everywhere... well, that was me. But it wasn't a ride. It happened. The bugs and creepy crawly things all over the rocks were terrifying. And they weren't shy to crawl on you. There were many times where I had to run around to get them off me. Fun? No. Not at all. And at a point I was crossing some water to climb onto a rock and it was slippery and I didn't know. Now before I finish I would like to mention what an amazing rock climber I am, it's something that always came naturally to me. Maybe it's the long legs, I don't know. But I could get anywhere. It was kind of fun. So with me being all confident I frolicked into the water my foot slipped and I crashed into the hard edges of the rocks. Causing me to gash open my leg, toe and hand. Awesome. And they could have cared less so I had to keep on posing while being in a lot of pain (remember...salt water. OW!) 

After a while I just wanted to stop. I felt horrible I wasn't into it. I just wanted to go to bed. But then I reminded myself that almost every shoot I didn't enjoy, or I didn't like the person or I didn't feel I have been doing well, have been the best photos of mine. It's so weird. So I was like well maybe that will happen again. 

On the way back one of the four photographers let me look at his camera and you know what, they look pretty good to me. I'm excited to see them in big. So even though it wasn't the best shoot experience, I think in the end it will be worth it. 

That's what it's all about. That's all that matters. 

And if not at least I got to check out Tokyo Bay!

Ky.xo