Nuvole Bianche

Decisions have never been my strong suit. Either I don't care enough to have a strong opinion, or I'm too scared to make the wrong choice that I just shut down and wait for someone to tell me what's right. 

Learning to listen to my gut has taken some time but I have learnt it is always right.

Originally, as I had posted on Facebook,etc that I was hoping to travel until December.

Going to Singapore after Shanghai and then back to Tokyo. 

I was thrilled but something wasn't sitting quite right. I wasn't all too pleased with the agency wanting me in Tokyo. 2 years ago I had been there with a small agency and as much as I made money and worked a ton, I like to know that I have grown, and that I've taken a step up since then. 

I didn't want to go back unless I knew I was doing better. 

And in this case, I didn't feel this agency was. 

I was hoping to hear from other agencies but the timing was tight and we didn't have much options. 

It was basically down to me saying yes or no. 

My head flew back and forth, "I don't want to go home and sit, I want to travel" , "But I want to push myself, this is taking the easy way out " , "I loved Tokyo, maybe it will be ok." , "But it's not just about making money!"

This internal conflict went on for a few days until I decided 

"No."

It wasn't right. It didn't feel right. Every time I got an email about it my stomach turned. I am in Shanghai with the best agency, going to Singapore with one of the best, I didn't want to take a step down now. Yes, it does mean I will have to work a heck of a lot harder. But I'd rather say no, and push myself to get where I need to go than say yes and settle, simply for the sake of somewhere else to go. 

So with that being said I will now be returning to Canada in October.

It may only be for a week and then I could be off again

It may be for another six months.

It may be in Duncan 

Or possibly Vancouver.

I haven't quite gotten that far. That's the thing with this industry, it changes everyday. You can never look too far ahead. 

For now, I have 2 days left in Shanghai until I head out to the fabulous location of Singapore. 

Change is good.

Ky.xo

Ps. What really helped me sit and make my decision was this incredible piece by one of my favorite composers Ludovico Einaudi

If this doesn't sit and boil inspiration in your soul I don't know what will. Please, take a moment, close your eyes and listen.