A dose of laughter.

I don't think I was lacking in nutrients yesterday when I was feeling really low. I think I was lacking in love. Back home I see friends and family everyday who care about me. Even if they don't say it, they show it by being involved in my life. Whether is having breakfast or texting. I have not had something like that in a long time. Other then my regular skype sessions with my mom.

I have no one to have a normal english speaking conversation with here. No one checking up on me. No one hugging me. And I'm a hugging kind of person, not having a few of those a week isn't easy.

I think the scariest part of it all to me is if something were to happen to me, it could be an entire day before anyone even thought to say something. My agent only calls every few days now and I never see my room mates anymore.

I think loneliness got the best of me.

But today I got exactly what I needed. Thankfully Jacob had nothing better to do with his Monday night so we decided to Skype. We started at about 11 AM (tokyo time) and finally decided he should get some sleep at 5:30 PM (tokyo time) Finally talking and having a normal conversation with someone was so refreshing. And not only that, but laughing. I hadn't laughed a good hard tears-in-your-eyes laugh in a long time. And I didn't realize it until I was. It just kind of hit me like god, I miss this! Not only that, I got to share my opinions and random thoughts. Usually when I talk to my mom or my friends it's just updates. Not just regular conversation. Jacob and I seem to have this way of covering almost every topic. In Chemistry we decided we should have our own talk show. Cause man the things we rant about. But it was wonderful to be able to. Like I said, it had been much too long.

It would be completely different if I had room mates I was friends with like I said. Some form of company. But I wasn't graced with that this time around.

Not being able to really laugh for two months is like someone cutting protein out of your diet.

It's not easy.

I love what I'm doing, I wouldn't change a second of it. But it really has shown me some of the important things we don't think about day to day. And I know hopefully next time I travel I will have some better room mates.

Who by the way finally got my hint from the other night and actually cleaned today. It's the first time I've seen them do so since being here... Better late then never I guess.

Ky.xo