Today was.. odd. I think this whole thing has finally caught up with me. I felt completely drained all day. Maybe it's because I'm bored out of my mind. Not too sure. I've had the last few days off and to be honest I'm not sure if I'll work much more before I go. Granted that's not such a bad thing, I have worked so much already but with me leaving soon and the market being down it's actually a really good time to be leaving.
I decided to actually do something today so I headed to Shibuya, a very busy district in Tokyo with a great mall. But as soon as I got there I just wasn't into it. The loud music and overwhelming stores. I felt like someone pulled the plug on me and sucked all the energy out. And I had just ate so I knew it wasn't lack of nutrition. After about an hour or so I headed back and grabbed some dinner. And even while I was sitting eating I just wanted to crawl into bed. It's not often I get like that.
I basically haven't left my bed since. And I know I'm not sick I feel fine. It's just my energy level is completely shot. It's probably a really good thing I'm not working, I don't think I could have made it.
I'm thinking a lot of it has to do with stress. Thinking about going home, the 10 hour flight, packing, school starting, drama with grad t-shirts, class lists, getting a job once I'm home, Milan, figuring out what's next. I over analyze everything, so when there is a lot to look at, It's exhausting.
I just need to let things happen how they will. It's just there's so many loose ends it's hard to stand here and not try and tie a knot. Instead I am just tangling myself up.
Hopefully tomorrow there will be more answers and my head will be at rest.
Ky.xo
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