Inspiration. It is all around me here in Tokyo. Whether it be buildings, fashion, models, shoots. Anything. Tokyo has shown me my true desire for this industry. I literally burn for it. I always enjoyed things like dance, skating, music. And I was always happy while doing all those things. But not like this. The energy and fire I feel when I'm working is one people would spend their whole lives searching for. And at 17 I have found it. I have found my passion. I have found the industry I plan on devoting my life to.
It is humbling to know I can stop looking and start working.
In a way I don't care what side of it I'm on. Camera, casting, scouting, designing, modeling. I just love it. Although my ultimate goal would be modeling. Simply because that's where the fire burns brightest.
Not only that but this industry accepts me. I'm very pale and I can't tan to save my life. Literally I got back from Mexico and people asked if I even left... But they love pale models. Tans are a big no no. Big plus for me.
It likes that I'm skinny. In middle school I was constantly beat on being called anorexic in the halls. I remember coming home bawling my eyes out asking my parents why I don't have thighs like the other girls. I remember looking in the mirror wondering why my legs don't fill out my skirt like everyone else. Wishing that they would. Modeling has taught me to love my body and be proud of the fact I am small and embrace it.
They like girls with natural hair. Now a'days it's hard to find a girl who hasn't coloured her hair. It's just what we do. But for some reason I never felt I should. And they love it. No roots, not dead. It's wonderful. I'm proud to be able to say this is my natural hair. And even though colouring it is so tempting at times. I just try and remind myself of these things.
In a way it's ironic how the modeling world likes what society often doesn't and yet people still swoon for it.
And in a way these things just reassure me even more that this is where I am meant to be.
Now don't get me wrong, there are still many things I wish I could change about myself. There are still many days where I think "God I would look so much better with a tan". But why live your life constantly picking yourself apart? Why hate your body? It's the only one your going to get and hating it isn't going to magically change it. So why not learn to embrace it and love your flaws.
It's a slow process but that's what I'm learning to do. And I encourage others to do so as well.
Here's to learning to love yourself,
Ky.xo
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