Innocence was the key, I was locked up never free; until you turned me.

Things have been winding down here in Japan. Seeing as I'm leaving soon I no longer have castings and there aren't as many jobs because a lot of people have left Tokyo due to the unreal heat.

A part of me is really sad knowing this whole thing will be over. When I think back to June and how much anticipation I had about this trip and now, knowing it is over is kind of upsetting. But at the same time I feel like I have been very successful and couldn't have asked for more.

So I guess it's fitted that my time here is almost done. I'm kind of at a point where I just want this last bit to fly by. If I'm not working it's quite boring and it causes me to wish I was at home with everyone more. But in order for it to go by fast I would need to be working. It's kind of a weird situation. Not working makes going home more exciting but working will make it come faster..

Either way the clock is counting down.

I just keep trying to think now that this experience is over I'm ready to tackle the next. I look forward for what's to come. I have a very bright outlook as to what path I hope to take. This trip has not only taught me a lot about myself it really helped me figure what I want to do after High School. I spent nights before this trip looking into schools figuring out a career. This trip has shown me more then all those nights of research put together.

Basically right now I feel that school will always be there. My dream will not. It's time to run for it while I can. Plus it's becoming more common to go to school when your a bit older. Once your more sure of what you want to do. So many people just go to school because they think that's what they have to do. Personally I feel a lot of it is wasted money. I know I will go to university some day. But until I'm absolutely sure what I want to do. There is no point. I have a good idea but things always change.

I also got a good chuckle today. A girl I barely know who's a few years younger started asking be about my trip on facebook, she then says "so are you famous?" I couldn't help but laugh. I just said "noo not even close." then she replies "Oh I heard you have your own TV show."

...

I love rumors. I cried laughing, it was so cute and ridiculous at the same time. I just said "No I work at the shop channel but it's far from 'my show' I just model the products."

Ahh anyway I just had to share that it really made my night. But hey who knows, maybe one day right?

When one door closes, another door opens.

Ky.xo

It's like a heat wave burning in my heart.

Today I worked for Alfa Romeo in the Concurs D'elegance Car show. We got to unveil the brand new "Guliette" that actually isn't released until next year. Sounds like a fun day right? No. Today was literally the hottest day I have ever endured in my life. Now, I know we say this a lot. Like how every time we get sick we always say "I have never felt this sick" but really it's just you feeling like crap in that moment. Well I'm not just saying this. It wins, by far. When ever we have jobs we are told to moisturize our skin before. BAD idea when you sweat. My body was like a slip n' slide. Because when you sweat all the cream that was sitting on your skin rises.. It doesn't feel so nice. I literally drank 4 huge things of water. If people in Tokyo do not have air conditioning I honestly think they could die. No lies. It's that bad. 

So if I hear anyone back home complaining about heat again I would love for them to come here and check this place out.

Torture.

All the Japanese actually carry around a towel to wipe themselves off with. Seriously, you see it everywhere. And that's just normal. I now understand why ever one leaves for a few weeks in the summer. It is not enjoyable at all. 

Then on the way back the metro was packed. I had been there when it's busy, but it was packed. Like peoples faces against the windows kind of thing. Which didn't help with my already sweaty situation. I literally had a girls face in my armpit. And to top it off, the japanese just sleep on the metro so I had a guy snoozing on my back. My mosquito bites on my leg? I couldn't itch them, I could hardly breath, I was lucky to have a handle to hold, not that I would have gone anywhere. 

When I came home it literally took 2 hours of sitting under my blasting air conditioning and a cold shower in order to cool me down...

Just cool me down.

I'm not over exaggerating or anything. I know I do that a lot but honestly. There is no sarcasm in my words..for once.

So, what is to learn from all this? If you ever plan on visiting Japan, DON'T go in the summer.

You can learn, I can suffer.

Ky.xo

Hate on me - Jill Scott

I have had several messages now asking what my "exciting new" was. I didn't post it that night because I started to realize I kept talking about my jobs. And I don't want this to come across as me bragging about the things I'm booking. I post about them for my friends and family and those who are interested to hear about it. Not as a way of my putting myself on a pedestal, at all. I would still post every night jobs or not.
But for some I can imagine I would look that way. I would like to make it clear that is not my intension. There will be haters. I understand that. Especially in this industry. And especially when your from a small town of tight knit people and your trying to break into this industry. I am not going to come back and think I am some celebrity. As my agent put it, this is one more step up the ladder helping me. But I have a long way to go. I may never get there. But I understand that. And these jobs, I post about them for you to hear about my day, not for me to say "oh hey look what I'm doing now aren't I wonderful" there is a difference. I wanted to make that clear.
Thanks
But first, my day. It was good, I basically did the exact same thing as the last time I did the fake ceremony show. Hair was ridiculous. Make-up was worse. (like orange lip stick honestly people? and no they weren't trying to be couture) But it was fun. Very long. We had like 3 hours in between shows so I brought my travel pillow and slept. it was nice other then the fact I threw out my neck in the process.
On our way back my homesickness hit me like a wave again. I felt terrible. I just wanted to lay in my bed and look at old pictures on my laptop. But then, the Russians invited me to a Mcdonalds run for a late dinner. I was so happy that 1) they included me and 2) It would get my mind off my loneliness. And of course good ol' Dons did the trick.
Tomorrow I have a test shoot on the beach, I'm pretty excited. I have been craving a day at the beach and even though this will be much different then home maybe it will kill a bit of my desire.
So exciting news time?
Well there is 2 parts, one isn't as exciting but I just didn't post about it. So that day, I got the car show casting. Which will be super fun! Stand by a beautiful car for people? Sounds good to me! That job is on Thursday.
And.. drum roll..
I got the Olympus Ad! Which is why I didn't go to my Canon call back because 2 camera companies wouldn't use the same girl for their ads. It's my first big ad I have ever gotten so I'm super excited. They decided right then and there because of my other call back (which I think gave me an upper hand, being in demand always seems to work and the fact I got along with everyone so well. I knew I made an impression) But that's not until August. But more exciting part about that is I get to fly to a tropical Island for it. I forget the name of it but I do know it's a 2 hour flight and there always seems to be wars over it (according to my agent) I didn't think I would get a job like that while being here. I figured my hair show with A*pish would be the biggest thing and the rest just small shows like I have been doing. Which I'm fine with, I love them. But it is a good feeling to get this ad.
Oh and I'd just like to say, anyone who is reading this should send me a message updating me on their summer. I haven't had as many the last few days and I don't like it. I have boring nights people (hence this blog) I need entertainment.
Please and Thank-you!
Ky.xo

Author.

I love writing. That's the whole reason I started this blog. I actually had it before this trip, as sort of an outlet for myself. And today I realized that this blog is kind of a drive for me. I look forward to ending my day and recapping it all. When you look into your days more throughly it's amazing what you see. Little things you missed. I'm enjoying it. And I realized in a way it's a story I have started. And today when I woke up and was still feeling upset and lonely I realized the story has only just started and I need to finish it. There is a reason I am writing it, living it. There is a reason I am in Tokyo for a summer and maybe thanks to my in depth look into my days, by the end I will see that. In a way I'm already starting to.
This morning was difficult, it was early , I was going off maybe 5 hours of sleep added one to even less from the night before and I wasn't up for working. Plus I was still so uneasy, the smallest thing could have broke me. But I went to the job and it actually ended up being really fun!
It was like a fake wedding reception, I had a husband, we cut cake, clinked glasses, even walked holding weighted teddy bears that's a tradition for having children or something, I don't know I didn't ask. It was silly and over done, but really fun.
Then I got my papers confirming I am flying out of Tokyo tomorrow. So once I am done this horrible shop channel job from 3-6 AM I have to rest up because I fly out to Akita at around 5 pm. I then stay the night in Akita and do a hair show that morning through afternoon and then fly back home around 6pm. It's about an hour's trip. I'm pretty excited about it. I think it will be good to A: keep be busy and B: Kind of pull me out of my routine so that when I get back I can start over. Solo.
I also talked to my agent for a good ten minutes about it today. Because when we go to castings the Russians just talk to each other he always ends up talking to me. Which is good because we've become pretty close. So we were talking on the phone and he was explaining the next two days and what not. He then goes on about how he's trying to give me Tuesday off so I can rest up after this all. Which is very sweet if him. But it turns out I do have a fitting for a job on Saturday. Which isn't bad I can handle one thing. He was apologizing about it and saying "I can't do much about it, I think you are going to stay very busy. Lots of jobs for you." In his cute bad english. Hearing that kind of faith and support from someone other then friends and family who are kind of obligated to be that way, was extremely reassuring. And also from someone who has been in this business for a very long time. Thats when I tore off this shredded coat I was wearing of tears and confusion and realized I am ready to do this. There is a reason I am here, on my own. And not only that while pondering my day I realized how happy I was while doing the show. Before my phone call it was the only time today I was in a really good place. These jobs; even if it's a stupid bridal show with ugly hair and a fake wedding reception, makes me happy. No matter what I'm doing I love it. One of the girls hated her hair and was in a tizzy about it the whole show. Uhm, hi I had about 20 flowers in my hair that looked an arts and crafts store vomited on me but I still loved it!
That moment, right there is why I'm here. Because I love it.
Yes I love home. I love my friends and family. But that feeling is something I can't explain. I mean I do get it when I work back home, but it's not as much constant work as here.
Last night I was really upset about how lonely a summer this will be. But when it's filled with thrills of feelings like that, I guess it's worth it.
Until the next chapter,
Ky.xo