You used to rule the world

Every fashion blog you look at has some kind of post about Galliano. I would like to put my two cents in.

First off: yes, what he did was a terrible disgusting thing. No human should ever utter words such as his.

But can we please take a moment and look at some of this pieces including ones from his final Dior show..

This man is a genius, no one can deny that. We should look at his art, not his words. If he can compose a sincere apology I see no reason why he can not rise to the top of the fashion world again. Hence his choice of music during the show "Viva la vita" starting with "I used to rule the world" and ending with Adele's "Rolling in the deep" containing the words "We could have had it all"

I honestly hope to see Galliano again. I always enjoyed his work. He just needs to learn to speak through his work, and not in remarks to people.

Ky.xo

Fingers Crossed during restless nights.

Well... The moment has passed.

Yes I had my meeting with Woman's Management. To be honest it couldn't have gone better. Much more then I expected. So if nothing comes of this I have no regrets which is a good thing, because I know there was nothing else I could have done. But I also have a lot of faith in myself and believe that they will get back to me.

See there's a difference between being conceited and confident. I worked hard, I trained, ate well, got my book together. All as preparation for this meeting.

I have a right to be confident.

Of course I have my doubts. But if it's not meant to happen now... it will later.

I'd just much rather have now.

I'm only Human. That's just the way we are.

Ky.xo

The Plan

A Plan.

I have always been a planner. I over analyze everything. Research things to the bitter end. The one thing that seems to be ever changing is my plan after High School. At first my dream was broadcast journalism. Which would still be amazing, but it's not my passion. I have always said I want a job that I get excited to wake up for. Which is why I look so deeply into these things.

Thanks to modeling I have fallen head over heels with fashion. I spend hours looking up designs and editorials. As much as I still have a lot to learn I feel as though it's something I understand and am willing to learn about.

That was change one.

But of course my true desire is in modeling.

I can not explain my love for it. And I plan to drag it out to the bitter end (which hopefully there is none)

But I have always said I will have a back up plan. Get a degree at least, so that I have something to stand on.

While in Japan I decided if modeling is my thing, I may as well take a year off and do it while I can.

That was change 2

And probably one of the best ones, I'm very glad I decided to. So I was going to travel as much as I could with modeling.

Alright that sounds good.

But now, while I'm in my final year of high school I've been wanting a car. Obviously the normal adolescent wanting freedom. First I need a job ...I'm working on it. But today it hit me.

I will never save a penny if I do that. First I'll have to pay off the car to my mom who would loan me the money, then insurance, then gas, then repairs. It will never end.

I realized today that I don't want to sit in Duncan waiting to travel. I now plan to move to Vancouver mid-summer.

If I were to get a car, I could never save in order to move to Vancouver.

There's no way.

So I have decided, no car for Kyla.

We have two, only one on the road right now but the second will be in February so I can drive it when ever, for now my friends can deal with me bumming rides. (Love you guys) And I am starting a "moving to van" fund, once I pay off my trip to Greece this spring break.

I couldn't be happier with my decision, discoveries and my over all plan.

Change is good, be open to it.

Ky.xo

ps. Once again image taken by Jonathan Bell.

Innocence was the key, I was locked up never free; until you turned me.

Things have been winding down here in Japan. Seeing as I'm leaving soon I no longer have castings and there aren't as many jobs because a lot of people have left Tokyo due to the unreal heat.

A part of me is really sad knowing this whole thing will be over. When I think back to June and how much anticipation I had about this trip and now, knowing it is over is kind of upsetting. But at the same time I feel like I have been very successful and couldn't have asked for more.

So I guess it's fitted that my time here is almost done. I'm kind of at a point where I just want this last bit to fly by. If I'm not working it's quite boring and it causes me to wish I was at home with everyone more. But in order for it to go by fast I would need to be working. It's kind of a weird situation. Not working makes going home more exciting but working will make it come faster..

Either way the clock is counting down.

I just keep trying to think now that this experience is over I'm ready to tackle the next. I look forward for what's to come. I have a very bright outlook as to what path I hope to take. This trip has not only taught me a lot about myself it really helped me figure what I want to do after High School. I spent nights before this trip looking into schools figuring out a career. This trip has shown me more then all those nights of research put together.

Basically right now I feel that school will always be there. My dream will not. It's time to run for it while I can. Plus it's becoming more common to go to school when your a bit older. Once your more sure of what you want to do. So many people just go to school because they think that's what they have to do. Personally I feel a lot of it is wasted money. I know I will go to university some day. But until I'm absolutely sure what I want to do. There is no point. I have a good idea but things always change.

I also got a good chuckle today. A girl I barely know who's a few years younger started asking be about my trip on facebook, she then says "so are you famous?" I couldn't help but laugh. I just said "noo not even close." then she replies "Oh I heard you have your own TV show."

...

I love rumors. I cried laughing, it was so cute and ridiculous at the same time. I just said "No I work at the shop channel but it's far from 'my show' I just model the products."

Ahh anyway I just had to share that it really made my night. But hey who knows, maybe one day right?

When one door closes, another door opens.

Ky.xo

These things take time love, these things take backbone.

Inspiration. It is all around me here in Tokyo. Whether it be buildings, fashion, models, shoots. Anything. Tokyo has shown me my true desire for this industry. I literally burn for it. I always enjoyed things like dance, skating, music. And I was always happy while doing all those things. But not like this. The energy and fire I feel when I'm working is one people would spend their whole lives searching for. And at 17 I have found it. I have found my passion. I have found the industry I plan on devoting my life to.

It is humbling to know I can stop looking and start working.

In a way I don't care what side of it I'm on. Camera, casting, scouting, designing, modeling. I just love it. Although my ultimate goal would be modeling. Simply because that's where the fire burns brightest.

Not only that but this industry accepts me. I'm very pale and I can't tan to save my life. Literally I got back from Mexico and people asked if I even left... But they love pale models. Tans are a big no no. Big plus for me.

It likes that I'm skinny. In middle school I was constantly beat on being called anorexic in the halls. I remember coming home bawling my eyes out asking my parents why I don't have thighs like the other girls. I remember looking in the mirror wondering why my legs don't fill out my skirt like everyone else. Wishing that they would. Modeling has taught me to love my body and be proud of the fact I am small and embrace it.

They like girls with natural hair. Now a'days it's hard to find a girl who hasn't coloured her hair. It's just what we do. But for some reason I never felt I should. And they love it. No roots, not dead. It's wonderful. I'm proud to be able to say this is my natural hair. And even though colouring it is so tempting at times. I just try and remind myself of these things.

In a way it's ironic how the modeling world likes what society often doesn't and yet people still swoon for it.

And in a way these things just reassure me even more that this is where I am meant to be.

Now don't get me wrong, there are still many things I wish I could change about myself. There are still many days where I think "God I would look so much better with a tan". But why live your life constantly picking yourself apart? Why hate your body? It's the only one your going to get and hating it isn't going to magically change it. So why not learn to embrace it and love your flaws.

It's a slow process but that's what I'm learning to do. And I encourage others to do so as well.

Here's to learning to love yourself,

Ky.xo

"Follow your heart"

In the last post I mentioned how my Friday wasn't a good day. The main reason being as I was walking to my casting I noticed my necklace and come undone. I quickly grabbed it only to realize the charm was gone. I was devastated. I am a very sentimental person and that necklace meant a lot to me. My mother had given it to me before she left, it had two circles joined and then a little heart symbolizing our lives together and that she was leaving her heart here with me. You can see it in a lot of my pictures. Anytime I felt out of place or upset I just kind of held onto it and felt at peace again. It was my good luck charm. And it was gone.

I had the day off and I was contemplating what to do. I had wanted to go check out some shopping in Harajuku again but I really wasn't feeling up to it. Just kind of a lazy day. Then I thought, why? Why sit here and do nothing when your in this amazing city? Stop being such a downer. So I grabbed some food and off I went. I went into a bunch of boutiques, topshop, h&m etc all the while wanting desperately to blow more money then I had. I managed to keep contain myself though. As I was walking through top shop I was looking at the accessories. I went to move one and something fell. I picked it up and it was a necklace with a thin gold chain and a heart with a compass in the middle. I immediately went to the counter and bought it.

I decided that yes. It is a shame that my other necklace broke. But maybe it's a sign. My mothers heart will always be with me. But she has raised me and taught me well and it is time to stand on my own, and follow my own heart. It's my turn to take action for myself.

There's no better surprise, then surprising yourself.

Ky.xo

Hate on me - Jill Scott

I have had several messages now asking what my "exciting new" was. I didn't post it that night because I started to realize I kept talking about my jobs. And I don't want this to come across as me bragging about the things I'm booking. I post about them for my friends and family and those who are interested to hear about it. Not as a way of my putting myself on a pedestal, at all. I would still post every night jobs or not.
But for some I can imagine I would look that way. I would like to make it clear that is not my intension. There will be haters. I understand that. Especially in this industry. And especially when your from a small town of tight knit people and your trying to break into this industry. I am not going to come back and think I am some celebrity. As my agent put it, this is one more step up the ladder helping me. But I have a long way to go. I may never get there. But I understand that. And these jobs, I post about them for you to hear about my day, not for me to say "oh hey look what I'm doing now aren't I wonderful" there is a difference. I wanted to make that clear.
Thanks
But first, my day. It was good, I basically did the exact same thing as the last time I did the fake ceremony show. Hair was ridiculous. Make-up was worse. (like orange lip stick honestly people? and no they weren't trying to be couture) But it was fun. Very long. We had like 3 hours in between shows so I brought my travel pillow and slept. it was nice other then the fact I threw out my neck in the process.
On our way back my homesickness hit me like a wave again. I felt terrible. I just wanted to lay in my bed and look at old pictures on my laptop. But then, the Russians invited me to a Mcdonalds run for a late dinner. I was so happy that 1) they included me and 2) It would get my mind off my loneliness. And of course good ol' Dons did the trick.
Tomorrow I have a test shoot on the beach, I'm pretty excited. I have been craving a day at the beach and even though this will be much different then home maybe it will kill a bit of my desire.
So exciting news time?
Well there is 2 parts, one isn't as exciting but I just didn't post about it. So that day, I got the car show casting. Which will be super fun! Stand by a beautiful car for people? Sounds good to me! That job is on Thursday.
And.. drum roll..
I got the Olympus Ad! Which is why I didn't go to my Canon call back because 2 camera companies wouldn't use the same girl for their ads. It's my first big ad I have ever gotten so I'm super excited. They decided right then and there because of my other call back (which I think gave me an upper hand, being in demand always seems to work and the fact I got along with everyone so well. I knew I made an impression) But that's not until August. But more exciting part about that is I get to fly to a tropical Island for it. I forget the name of it but I do know it's a 2 hour flight and there always seems to be wars over it (according to my agent) I didn't think I would get a job like that while being here. I figured my hair show with A*pish would be the biggest thing and the rest just small shows like I have been doing. Which I'm fine with, I love them. But it is a good feeling to get this ad.
Oh and I'd just like to say, anyone who is reading this should send me a message updating me on their summer. I haven't had as many the last few days and I don't like it. I have boring nights people (hence this blog) I need entertainment.
Please and Thank-you!
Ky.xo

Author.

I love writing. That's the whole reason I started this blog. I actually had it before this trip, as sort of an outlet for myself. And today I realized that this blog is kind of a drive for me. I look forward to ending my day and recapping it all. When you look into your days more throughly it's amazing what you see. Little things you missed. I'm enjoying it. And I realized in a way it's a story I have started. And today when I woke up and was still feeling upset and lonely I realized the story has only just started and I need to finish it. There is a reason I am writing it, living it. There is a reason I am in Tokyo for a summer and maybe thanks to my in depth look into my days, by the end I will see that. In a way I'm already starting to.
This morning was difficult, it was early , I was going off maybe 5 hours of sleep added one to even less from the night before and I wasn't up for working. Plus I was still so uneasy, the smallest thing could have broke me. But I went to the job and it actually ended up being really fun!
It was like a fake wedding reception, I had a husband, we cut cake, clinked glasses, even walked holding weighted teddy bears that's a tradition for having children or something, I don't know I didn't ask. It was silly and over done, but really fun.
Then I got my papers confirming I am flying out of Tokyo tomorrow. So once I am done this horrible shop channel job from 3-6 AM I have to rest up because I fly out to Akita at around 5 pm. I then stay the night in Akita and do a hair show that morning through afternoon and then fly back home around 6pm. It's about an hour's trip. I'm pretty excited about it. I think it will be good to A: keep be busy and B: Kind of pull me out of my routine so that when I get back I can start over. Solo.
I also talked to my agent for a good ten minutes about it today. Because when we go to castings the Russians just talk to each other he always ends up talking to me. Which is good because we've become pretty close. So we were talking on the phone and he was explaining the next two days and what not. He then goes on about how he's trying to give me Tuesday off so I can rest up after this all. Which is very sweet if him. But it turns out I do have a fitting for a job on Saturday. Which isn't bad I can handle one thing. He was apologizing about it and saying "I can't do much about it, I think you are going to stay very busy. Lots of jobs for you." In his cute bad english. Hearing that kind of faith and support from someone other then friends and family who are kind of obligated to be that way, was extremely reassuring. And also from someone who has been in this business for a very long time. Thats when I tore off this shredded coat I was wearing of tears and confusion and realized I am ready to do this. There is a reason I am here, on my own. And not only that while pondering my day I realized how happy I was while doing the show. Before my phone call it was the only time today I was in a really good place. These jobs; even if it's a stupid bridal show with ugly hair and a fake wedding reception, makes me happy. No matter what I'm doing I love it. One of the girls hated her hair and was in a tizzy about it the whole show. Uhm, hi I had about 20 flowers in my hair that looked an arts and crafts store vomited on me but I still loved it!
That moment, right there is why I'm here. Because I love it.
Yes I love home. I love my friends and family. But that feeling is something I can't explain. I mean I do get it when I work back home, but it's not as much constant work as here.
Last night I was really upset about how lonely a summer this will be. But when it's filled with thrills of feelings like that, I guess it's worth it.
Until the next chapter,
Ky.xo

Tim Walker

I was meant to be in this industry.
When I have pounds of homework the class I do first?
Fashion design, the one that barely counts for anything
When I should be studying for exams what am I doing?
Looking at models and photographers.
And in doing so I have found a new obsession.
His name is Tim Walker this amazing creative photographer.
His work is odd and indescribable. It is a work of art.
There should honestly be a religion on this guy.
His work makes you stop and think and want to wonder what it's story is.
It's amazing.

Ky.xo

Ps. This photo was an actual vogue cover, such a masterpiece.